The Problematic Hunt for Perfection

"Why worry? If you've done the very best you can, worrying isn't going to make it any better"

~Walt Disney

In my previous posts, 'Nobody's perfect' and 'Disney's Animal Kingdom For Your Consideration' I touched on perfectionism, the attitude of "if you can't do it perfectly don't bother" and life's grey areas. Still I think this topic merits a more in depth look. This entry is going to focus on problematic perfectionism within the vegan community but this is not a vegan specific problem I'd argue this can be applied to almost anything in life but I want to focus on this for a second. The opinions expressed here are my own and maybe controversial but I feel this is an important discussion to be had.
Every step counts. There is a difference between a plant based diet and being vegan, vegan is an ethical choice and complete life style where as plant based is a diet for health or personal reasons that does not extend past diet and can include any version of a 'mostly vegetarian or vegan diet'. I totally understand why people feel it is important to differentiate the two, this can get foggy as its usually easier when ordering food to say vegan than to explain plant based to servers, and this in turn causes confusion about what is and isn't vegan.
  The original definition of vegan "A philosophy and way of living which seeks to exclude—as far as is possible and practicable—all forms of exploitation of, and cruelty to, animals for food, clothing or any other purpose; and by extension, promotes the development and use of animal-free alternatives for the benefit of humans, animals and the environment. In dietary terms it denotes the practice of dispensing with all products derived wholly or partly from animals" .
Things start getting complicated when you get past dairy,eggs and meat and start looking into things like oysters,insects, medicine, etc.  The original definition is in a sense sort of vague in the sense that it used words like strives and practical this is very important because this takes into account life's challenges ,struggles and grey areas. In a world unfortunately centered around animals being products and that being the norm accessibility becomes and important factor, someone may hold all the core beliefs of a vegan but have to bend in action and this is not something they should be crucified for.A single parent on social assistance may have no choice but to feed their family zoodles which contains dairy or some other bi product due to finances and/or whats available at the local food bank.
Now of course this is an extreme scenario and generally not what vegans are addressing when they call something out as not vegan or not vegan enough but some of the harsh language and anger I've seen makes me wonder what the affect would be if someone taking positive steps saw and felt they cannot be pure enough and give up,
What I am saying is we need to be kind and compassionate teachers, not police. People do and will look for way to justify wrong and actions and make excuses for why they can't strive for better but we can't know who is and is not doing that and in the end the only actions we are responsible for are our own, so being cruel because something 'isn't vegan enough' or because someone relapsed with old habits, does not discredit their progress, it discredits yours.
Everyday we should strive to be a little better and harm a little less without obsessing over mistakes or road blocks along the way. If you dig deep enough or look hard enough our actions no matter how well intended will cause harm somewhere be it pollution from our car, energy waste from our computers, animal products in our medicine, there is no perfection and trying to hold ourselves or other to an unreachable standard only makes the fall hurt that much worse when we realize we can't reach it.
So educate people, hold yourself and others accountable for words and actions but do so kindly and without forgetting everyone has a journey and struggles, not everything is black or white the world indeed is grey.

Winter Kindness: Cause Baby It's Cold Outside

Goodness is about character- integrity,honesty,kindness,generosity,moral courage, and the like.

more than anything it is about how we treat other people

-Denis Prager

 I would add and animals! or change people to beings but you get the idea.  I don't usually post twice in a week but I was saving this topic 1. until after my trip reports but more so 2. for closer to Christmas when people are in that extra kind mood. I mentioned in my intro blog how I chose the name for this blog , a loving vegan and what those words encompass for me which basically boils done to my motto of harm less, but also my other motto being from Disney (because of course it is) have courage and be kind. So that's what I want to talk about today, kindness. 

Nobody is perfect and we all have bad days but I do believe that each and everyone of us should always strive to be a little better,kinder and do more so lets talk about doing more. What we can do can be limited by many things financial capabilities, physical capabilities , mental capabilities etc. So I want to give some ideas, suggestions and bring light to some great groups.

Financial giving. This is something not everyone can do, for a long time I couldn't as I live mostly pay check to pay check like many of you I am sure can relate. If you can though one tip to keep in mind is that all charities have to make their financial statements public they will be on their site, if they aren't don't donate to that group its a scam.  Also do a quick google search you might be surprised that some popular "charities" are not the shinning examples they claim to be. I try to donate to a different cause every pay cheque the amount varies based on what I can do at any time. One site for various human causes I recommend are  rescuesite.org, amnesty.org. For animals I recommend mercyforanimals.org or animalequality.net .

Not everyone can give financially though so lets talk about little day to day type things. Homelessness is on the raise and even in warm climates it gets cold at night. I've also noticed a growing contempt and distrust of homeless people with less and less people willing to give thanks in no small part to sensational "news" stories of people scamming the system and faking homeless. Does this happen? sure probably, but that's not the majority, the majority are people who have for whatever reason fallen to the bottom of the poverty cycle, and statically they wont be able to get out even if they make all the right choices. Choices is another thing I hear a lot, a lot of judgement about the assumed bad choices these people made,so lets talk about that. Even if we remove every external factor that affects the way people make choices and assumed they should just make better choices does making a bad choice mean your no longer worthy of compassion? When does a mistake become so awful that your stripped of your humanity and left a piece of dirt?

 As a Disney fan I love Once Upon A Time on ABC and one of the things I love most about it is the psychology. I love how it will show you a villain and you will hate them and then you see their back story, from their point of view and you start feeling bad for them and suddenly their bad choices make sense , they still did bad things, the queen still shouldn't kill Snow White but suddenly you get why she felt that way and your rooting for her to turn it around. Everyone deserved the forgiveness we grant these fictional characters, everyone deserves kindness and second chances, third chances, all the chances! If Regina can teach us anything let it be that it's never to late to change.   

So what can we do? Great question!

and the answer is lots! Did you know that most popular coffee chains like Tim Horton's or Dunkin Donuts will give a cup of hot water for free (some charge 5 cents for the cup cause they're greedy but still next to free) so idea number one go to a dollar store pick up some scarves, gloves and a box tea, and/or snacks; wrap a tea bag, snack,gloves and 5 cents in the scarf , keep the rolled up scarves in your purse and give them to homeless people you see.

Idea 2, ladies special, use and old purse or buy a couple cheap purses and fill them with various things a woman may need, snacks,tea,gloves,pads, etc same idea as the scarves but with a feminine twist. 

Idea 3 with it being Christmas go to the dollar store and buy some give bags, fill them with various items and hand them out (same idea holiday twist.)

Got a gift card for somewhere you don't like? Give it to someone on the street!

Another way to give is to give time. Volunteer at a shelter once a month, or a grassroots group like Food Not Bombs, if you haven't heard of them they are a group functioning all over north america that does community food serves, serving local plant based foods encouraging solidarity,community and peace try doing a facebook search to find one near you. Or help build Tiny Houses , tiny houses are popping up all over the world to provide homes to the homeless they cost less than 2000CAD to produce and only take a couple days to build.

There are so many ways to give back get creative, no one can do everything but everyone can do something.

Have courage and be kind , Happy Holidays!

Nobody is Perfect

Nobody is Perfect

When deciding to do a public blog/vlog one thing that worried me, particularly with the decision to put vegan in the title was society's obsession with perfection. I've heard different things falling under this same umbrella from both vegans and non-vegans so I wanted to use one of my first entries to address this and get it out of the way.

Since transitioning to vegan I have heard a lot of comments that boil down to things a long the lines of, “you can't make a difference”, “if you can't save every animal why bother?” , “well ____ still happens”. Similarly in vegan online communities I've seen many steps and actions labeled as not vegan enough. All of these share one central sentiment which is basically, if you can't be perfect why bother?

I no doubt, will from time to time go some place, use something, say something or do something that some might consider, not vegan enough, not pure vegan, whatever you want to call it. I don't know when, where or how it will happen, but it will. If being present online has taught me anything its that everything piss off someone. I am sure this will happen not because I am careless but because I am human and imperfect. This will happen because while people want to paint the world as black and white, its actually gray.

So why bother? Well, the best answer I can give is a parable I heard as a child, perhaps you have heard it too, it is about a little boy and some star fish and goes like this :

One morning a man is going for a walk on the beach, every morning the beach is scattered with starfish that the tide washed up. As he walks he sees a little boy who is running about picking up star fish and throwing them back into the sea. The man approaches the boy and says “Boy, why are you wasting your time trying to save these star fish you cannot possibly save them all.” T he little boy continues what he is doing while saying to the man “You are right I cannot save them all, but I can save this one” he says throwing the star fish back into the sea.

What the moral of this story is, to me. Is that every positive step counts. No you can never be perfect and no you cant save them all, but just one is worth it, every step counts. So everyday my goal is to do a little more, be a little better, and cause the least amount of harm possible while existing in our imperfectly gray world.