Communication

Communication is key to any healthy relationship, we hear this a lot and its true but learning how to have that open and healthy communication is not as often explained. In theory communication should be easy, open your mouth and speak, right? Well in reality I think we all know it is much more complicated than that.

Communication comes in layers, when in person there is body language, there is always subtext and wording can make a huge difference. For example one time while talking to my partner I was trying to communicate how great things were in that moment, how connected, refreshed and passionate I felt, but the wording I used particularly the word 'recommitted' gave the messaged that as some point I hadn't felt connected and committed and that overtook what I had been trying to say and instead of building my partner up, I had hurt him. These mishaps, happen and particularly  if you've had fewer healthy relationship models to look up too communication and learning to do so in a healthy,open and honest way can be a bit of a journey unto itself.
Honesty: honesty isn't just telling the truth but telling the full truth and its important that why acknowledge that. Trust once broken is next to impossible to rebuild, that's not to say you can't rebuild if trust has been broken but it is a very long and painful up hill climb to do so. Sometimes honesty hurts and being on the receiving end of a painful truth is almost as hard as telling the painful truth but it's important to acknowledge and respect that your partner respects you by telling the truth and move forward with whatever the next step maybe in a mutual respect.
Openness : going hand in hand with honesty and not leaving out information just because you think your partner wont like it. It's also creating a safe atmosphere where you both know while your emotions can only be controlled so far and yes you may get upset you will talk through anything that needs to be handled and you both acknowledge and understand how important that safe place of openness is.

Don't text about serious topics. That should really be its own rule. A lot can be lost in communication via text , subtext, context details, tone all can be lost or misunderstood if you absolutely can not wait until you are face to face to discuss and issue then pick up the phone and call. It can feel easier to text you may even feel your better at articulating that way but the majority of the time for the reader that wont be true.

I statements are important in any area of conflict. Breath deep and take a moment to plan your wording, a minor issue can easily become a major issue if one party seems to be to defensive or to be deflecting both of which can be avoided by using I statements. For example "I feel unappreciated when you go straight to your laptop when you come home and think maybe we should have some unplugged time" vs "you go on online way too much and need make more time for me" both these statements are acknowledge the same issue, a common issue in our tech based world but one is clearly less confrontational and focused on building positively while the other is clearly formed out of hurt/anger and more likely to escalate  the situation.

My final and biggest tip, is touch. If you know your about to discuss a big and serious issue sit down face each other and hold hands. If you cant hold hand (example if your signing to each other) sit cross legged so your knees touch. Keep contact helps keep the situation calm, and lest I sound like a hippie it keeps an energy flowing between the two of you.This can be hard especially if your having a disagreement but its both physical and symbolic to not break that connection even when your angry. I saw this tip in a movie of all places when I was about 12 and it stuck with me, I've always had it as an unwritten rule and swear by it.

All relationships are different and finding what works is a journey but this foundation  will always be universal is open and honest communication , its a sign of love and respect and I hope these tools and tips help you build that safe place to grow together.

Healthy Relationships and False Standards

I've decided to do a couple entries on loving, healthy relationships and this is my intro into the topic I hope you enjoy.

You hear a lot and see a lot about "relationships today" and whats wrong with them as if in the past relationships were better, I want to say that's a lie. A big bad lie that makes people hold their relationships to false standards. You will often hear low divorce rates of previous generations cited as 'proof' well let me, let you in on some little known/unacknowledged info on this. Firstly when going back in time we need to factor in the culture that creates the cultural norms of the time, a much heavier religious influence and more judgement on particularly women who left unhappy relationships, more prevalent unchecked work place sexism and discrimination stopping women from getting jobs to be able to leave. These two factors a lone are massive and powerful and kept low divorce rates but that does not mean all relationships were great,happy and successful.
Similarly the stat of 50% of marriages ending in divorce is actually outdated, it was true that as equality grew and stigma faded more and more of these marriages from "the good old days" ended but as newer generations who are waiting longer, living together first, and getting to know each other more are getting married the divorce rate has been steadily declining.

Another unhealthy standard is this concept of the 'failed relationship'. I love sexpert Dan Savage and his outlook on this topic to paraphrase the idea of a relationship ending being a failure is and of its self a flawed and problematic standard. Trying to hold on to something that's ended , like eating expired food can turn was was a lovely casserole  into a toxic mess, and eating it will make you sick.
That is not to say that whenever things get hard you should give up and let go, all relationships will have ups and downs but in your heart or hearts 9 out of 10 times you do know deep down the difference between "we are having a hard time right now" and "this is over but I don't want to let go".
Life is a journey or better yet a book and like all great novels it has many chapters and characters, some will stay with you until the end and some only for a chapter and that is OK, they still have value, they still add to the story but they don't need to be the entire story.

Letting go of the pressure to have the perfect most successful never ending relationship will in and of its self take stress off of your relationships and help you heal if they end.
Don't make quick decisions with relationships always self reflect and sleep on major decisions, always keep open and honest communication without that it's already half dead but that's another entry.

The moral of this little blog is don't beat yourself up, don't hold yourself or your relationship to false standards or anyone else's standards what works for one couple may not for another most relationship issues are grey not black and white. Is an open relationship right for you? Is it right for your partner? Is a monogamous relationship right for you? Is it right for your partner?
There are many different types of relationships all unique and complex and only you and your partner together can decide what is right for you and what to try and not to try and where your boundaries lay on any given topic. Don't worry about failure, don't poison your precious time together just figure out whats right for your relationship, communicate and support each other for however long or short is right for you.

Vegan Burger Helper

cook & prep time approx 20mins
Serving paired with side salad 3-4 served on it's own 2-3
Firstly I hate when a recipe blog has like a two page story of everything the cook did that day before they cooked to get to the recipe, so I wont do that.
For those who enjoyed hamburger helper in there pre vegan days I have a recipe for HEALTHY, cruelty free vegan burger helper. This came in an attempt to make a cheese sauce but tastes much more like hamburger helper so we are going with that!
What you will need :

• 1 package of yves ground round (or any ground 'beef' alternative)
• package of noodles
• 1/4 onion diced
• 1 1/2 cups of unflavored non-dairy milk (cashew is creamiest)
• 2 tbsp non-dairy butter
• 1 tsp garlic powder
• 1 tsp onion powder
• splash of olive oil
• salt and pepper to taste 

Bring pot of water to a boil and add noodles while the water boils/ noodles cook splash a frying pan set to medium heat with olive oil , mix quarter Onion with ground round and fry. While the ground round and onion are frying mix remaining ingredients together in sauce pan and bring to a light boil. by the time your noodles and ground round are done the sauce should also be done.
Drain noodles and then mix sauce and ground round in together.
And you are done!
Easy ! I like to top mine with sriracha.

The Problematic Hunt for Perfection

"Why worry? If you've done the very best you can, worrying isn't going to make it any better"

~Walt Disney

In my previous posts, 'Nobody's perfect' and 'Disney's Animal Kingdom For Your Consideration' I touched on perfectionism, the attitude of "if you can't do it perfectly don't bother" and life's grey areas. Still I think this topic merits a more in depth look. This entry is going to focus on problematic perfectionism within the vegan community but this is not a vegan specific problem I'd argue this can be applied to almost anything in life but I want to focus on this for a second. The opinions expressed here are my own and maybe controversial but I feel this is an important discussion to be had.
Every step counts. There is a difference between a plant based diet and being vegan, vegan is an ethical choice and complete life style where as plant based is a diet for health or personal reasons that does not extend past diet and can include any version of a 'mostly vegetarian or vegan diet'. I totally understand why people feel it is important to differentiate the two, this can get foggy as its usually easier when ordering food to say vegan than to explain plant based to servers, and this in turn causes confusion about what is and isn't vegan.
  The original definition of vegan "A philosophy and way of living which seeks to exclude—as far as is possible and practicable—all forms of exploitation of, and cruelty to, animals for food, clothing or any other purpose; and by extension, promotes the development and use of animal-free alternatives for the benefit of humans, animals and the environment. In dietary terms it denotes the practice of dispensing with all products derived wholly or partly from animals" .
Things start getting complicated when you get past dairy,eggs and meat and start looking into things like oysters,insects, medicine, etc.  The original definition is in a sense sort of vague in the sense that it used words like strives and practical this is very important because this takes into account life's challenges ,struggles and grey areas. In a world unfortunately centered around animals being products and that being the norm accessibility becomes and important factor, someone may hold all the core beliefs of a vegan but have to bend in action and this is not something they should be crucified for.A single parent on social assistance may have no choice but to feed their family zoodles which contains dairy or some other bi product due to finances and/or whats available at the local food bank.
Now of course this is an extreme scenario and generally not what vegans are addressing when they call something out as not vegan or not vegan enough but some of the harsh language and anger I've seen makes me wonder what the affect would be if someone taking positive steps saw and felt they cannot be pure enough and give up,
What I am saying is we need to be kind and compassionate teachers, not police. People do and will look for way to justify wrong and actions and make excuses for why they can't strive for better but we can't know who is and is not doing that and in the end the only actions we are responsible for are our own, so being cruel because something 'isn't vegan enough' or because someone relapsed with old habits, does not discredit their progress, it discredits yours.
Everyday we should strive to be a little better and harm a little less without obsessing over mistakes or road blocks along the way. If you dig deep enough or look hard enough our actions no matter how well intended will cause harm somewhere be it pollution from our car, energy waste from our computers, animal products in our medicine, there is no perfection and trying to hold ourselves or other to an unreachable standard only makes the fall hurt that much worse when we realize we can't reach it.
So educate people, hold yourself and others accountable for words and actions but do so kindly and without forgetting everyone has a journey and struggles, not everything is black or white the world indeed is grey.

All Star Sports!

"A team isn't a bunch of kids out to win. A team is something you belong to, something you feel, something you have to earn."

-The Mighty ducks

Coming from Canada and during a low dollar saving money is key to making a Disney trip possible.

The cheapest way to do Disney is to camp at 50USD a night but I am not much of a camper so we did the next best thing, the All Star Sport Resort! The All Star resorts will always be your most affordable hotel option for on property. We chose sports because Jamie is a huge sport fanatic. 

My favorite thing about the all stars is how over the top themed they are! All of the All Stars have a very over the top, cartoon look and theme. 

All Star Sports has 5 sports themed buildings you can stay in which are : football,baseball,tennis,basketball, and surfing. There are 2 pools one baseball themed in the Home Run Hotel you can find a nautical baseball diamond complete with pitcher Goofy and his water cannon and over in , of course Surf Board Bay you can chill out to surf music around the second pool. 

We had originally wanted to stay in either the football themed Touch Down Hotel or the baseball themed Home Run Hotel but upon arrival we had the option of a free upgrade to a preferred room if we stayed in Surf Board Bay. Surf Board Bay ended up being nicer than expected we stayed in a room tucked to the back facing the trees that conceal a little playground. The rooms themselves are a little plain but again this is the lowest budget location so its to be expected I was however a little disappointed we didn't get towel animals which was something I was extremely excited about.

One of the greatest things about this resort is that it is the first of the All Stars on the bus route. So if your there during a slow time when buses are being shared you are more likely to get to and from the parks faster than guests from the other All Stars. I found the bus waits and rides from this location to generally be very fun and fast. The only exception was leaving EPCOT right at closing but of course leaving any park at closing will leave you waiting and if I am not mistaken I believe EPCOT was also the furthest so again wait is to be expected.

One thing I love about Disney resorts is that not only do they give guests quality h2O+  products but h2O+  doesn't test on animals and most of there products are vegan!(http://www.h2oplus.com/category/about+us/faqs.do)

For dinning All Star Sports has one busy food court! Options for vegans include vegan mickey waffles upon request with potatoes or toast for breakfast. For lunch and/or dinner the option is that standard veggie burger with fries, I didn't ask about pasta I did ask about the pizza and sadly they did not have vegan cheese but you could order veggie toppings no cheese. The food court as I mentioned is crazy busy most of the time but I still ate there almost daily I love mickey waffles and potatoes! 

Over all we both loved staying at All Star Sports Jamie doesn't want to stay anywhere else ever! I however do want to try POP Century which has more vegan options and/or The Art Of Animation because of how decorative their rooms are!

For further reading on the specs of the different resorts checkout http://www.wdwinfo.com/

Want to learn about Veganism?

"Have Courage and Be Kind"

-Cinderella

I put together this little pack for people interested in learning about veganism. I put it together quite a while ago but figured this might be a good time and place to share it. The links, books and films mentioned below answer pretty much every question I have ever asked or been asked about being and becoming vegan. Included are recipes, meal plans, information on environmental aspects as well as animal rights and the bottom is a list of vegetarian, vegan and/or plant based public figures. I hope this helps people on their journey and that you learn a little something. Articles: http://www.onegreenplanet.org/natural-health/vegan-sources-of-protein/

<- site is great for healthy recipes http://www.nursingdegree.net/blog/19/57-health-benefits-of-going-vegan/

http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/justin3.htm

http://www.veganbodybuilding.com/?page=article_samplenutritionprograms

http://greatist.com/health/complete-vegetarian-proteins

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-4771/10-Vegan-Sources-of-Protein.html

http://www.peta.org/living/food/top-10-reasons-go-vegan-new-year/

http://nutritionfacts.org/?gclid=CNih35WdxMYCFQeLaQod1kILgw

Cook Books:

Thug Kitchen *contains swearing and possible cultural appropriation

Forks Over Knives Cookbook

China Study All Stars

Documentaries: (inrecommended watching order) Forks Over Knives (*disclaimer*some data debated) Food Inc (isnt related to cutting out meat but good food film) Cowspiracy (focus on enviromental issues&diet) Speciesism the movie (raises ethical questions) Recommended Books: Beasts : What animals can teach us on the orgins of good and evil By Jeffery M. Masson Why We Love Dogs, Eat Pigs & Wear Cows By Melanie Joy PhD The Pig Who Sang To The Moon: the emotional lives of farmed animals By Jeffery M Masson Skinny Bitch By Rory Freedman & Kim Barnouin Famous vegetarians and/or Vegans: Intellectuals: Greek philosopher Pythagoras (known for Pythagorean theory, 6th century BC vegetarian activist) Plato Leonardo Da Vinci William Shakespeare Voltaire Leo Tolstoy Sir Isaac Newton Socrates Vincent Van Gogh Benjamin Franklin Nickola Tesla Einstien Franz Kafka George Bernard Shaw Mark Twain Tomas Edison Henry Ford Steve Jobs *rumored* Abraham Lincoln Susan B. Anthony Ghandi Gautama Buddha (founder of buddhism) Celebs :

Jon Stewart Richard Gere Steve-O Carrie Price (hockey player) Natalie Portman (PhD & Actress) Ringo Star Paul McCartney Stella McCartney Bob Dylan Bob Barker Dustin Hoffman Jerry Sienfield Travis Baker David Duchovony (there are obviously way more but this is becoming a novel lol) Atheletes : Patrik Baboumian - World Record holding Strong man Bill Manetti - body builder Carl Lewis- Olympic track star Joe Namath - NFL Quarterback Martina Navratilova - Tennis star Tony La Russa - NFL Manager Robert Parish - NBA star Prince Fielder - MLB David Scott - Iron man Billie Jean King - Tennis Star Jim Morris - 79 year old body builder http://www.greatveganathletes.com/

My Love Story

"I look at you, and I'm home"

-Dory (Finding Nemo)

Lately most of my posts have been reviews or tips on your Disney trip and I love Disney and this entry will also be Disney heavy but with a more personal aspect. This is my love story. 
I chose that quote from Dory for a very specific reason, it is probably the shortest most basic love quote, very basic and not full of fairy tale luster that I am usually drawn to but it really sums up not just love but my love.
I mentioned in my what Disney means to me entry that I didn't have a very good or stable childhood and that pattern followed me most of my life. From 15- very, very recently I was moving a minimum of once a year and couch surfing with family and friends after my mother decided I wasn't wanted anymore. Due to everything, I like many people had trust issues and issues with commitment because well, everybody leaves, don't they?
I remember when I first saw him, it sounds cheesy and fake but it's true. I was entering my second college lecture, I sat near the back but not too far back and off to the side. I scanned the lecture hall to see all my new classmates a room full of possibilities. Who should catch my eye but a long haired hippie boy with his long board leaning against his seat and a paisley shirt with the first few buttons open on his tan, toned skin. He reminded me of someone from a movie.

  The first time we spoke alone I was sitting in the hall outside of that same lecture hall I was late and far more scared of going in and having people stop and look at me than missing a class so I was sitting waiting for it to end. Jamie came out and asked what I was doing and I explained he offered to go in with me so it was less awkward but I was worried about finding a seat and my anxiety won so I declined.
At this point in my life I was coming off of a messy break up, dealing with on going family problems, thrust into the world of financial difficulty and was dealing with an unidentifiable health problem. It wasn't a great time for me.    When Jamie first told me he liked me my instinct was to not trust him, we had been drinking it was college , I was sure it was just a line and I told him that. He assured me his feelings were genuine but I was terrified of being hurt again.
For weeks I not only turned him down but I told him I would never date him. I was determined to make it on my own. Jamie was respectful never crossing boundaries but persistent. No matter how hard I pushed him away he stood there waiting for me to come back.
Slowly I began to trust him, I began to test if he'd really be there when I needed him and he was. In all honesty the first year if not two of our relationship was a roller coaster. I had trust issues and problems with anxiety, he had a long stemmed fear of commitment as well.
As with all loves we began to bend, through honest communication, a really under appreciated asset in relationships we learned to balance each other, to grow in ourselves while together and to heal together. We fell in love.
Fast forward 5 years after we met, 4 of a solid relationship. We were now probably one of the healthiest relationships ever despite ourselves.
All of my dreams were coming true, I had gained a new family, an anchor in my life. Things had settled down and I was finally happy and healthy and somewhere good with someone good.
If that wasn't enough my life long dream to go to Disney World was coming true and I was going to experience it with my best friend and my partner. When we got to Disney World the only people even close to my excitement level were the children everywhere, I think I spoke to more kids than adults on the buses because lets be real, they get it. When I saw the castle I cried. Jamie and I spent the next couple hours just taking it all in and exploring. In the early evening we met up with my best friend and rode some rides, until it was time to get a spot for Celebrate The Magic.
We got a spot near the bridge to Frontierland. They tried to get me to move to a more central location but I was scared of missing even a second of the show so we stayed put. Celebrate the Magic is an amazing show I was teary eyed the entire time. Then Wishes started.
I was sitting on the fence post that lines one of the gardens, Jamie leaned in and whispered about life moments that are worth repeating and how this was one of them, and then he got down on one knee.
It was both magical and terrifying , my wildest dream and a terror. I froze, and then I lunged into an awkward kiss. We stood there, me semi blacked out but standing for a few moments. They moved me out of the crowd and I whispered to Jamie that I had basically blacked out with all the people there and I wasn't fully aware still. By this point we had made our way to the wishing well and away from crowds and I was starting to come too.
I thought about leaving this part out but I thought it was such a testament to his love, patience and understanding that it would be doing him and the story a disservice to leave it out.
Shelley suggested we take some pictures, and Jamie realized this was an opportunity. He knew I had panicked and not gotten the full experience in crowd so he took a moment to do it again still by the castle but away from the crowd. The memories of both rounds are kind of jumbled together but I cant think of anything better than being proposed to by the Disney castle (twice!) because my love is so loving and understanding when it comes to things like my anxiety and he wanted me to have,experience and remember the entire thing. He even planned for my best friend to be there, be the que and to take photos! It was such an extremely magical and over whelming night.
Earlier that day I had wished, in that very wishing well and I told Jamie I didn't know what to wish for because I had always just wished to go to Disney and here we were, so I wished for magic and that night I got everything I wished for and more.

"To face the future with anther, who means more than any other, is to be loved"

-The Rescuers 

Cinderella's Royal Table : Dining with Royalty

"No doubt you saw the whole pretty picture in detail. 

The young prince bowing to the assembly. Suddenly, he stops. 

He looks up. For lo... there she stands. The girl of his dreams. 

Who she is or whence she came, he knows not, nor does he care, for his heart tells him that here, here is the maid predestined to be his bride."

-The Grand Duke (Cinderella 1950)

Cinderella's Royal Table is located as it should be right inside of Cinderella's Castle. When you enter that castle your royal family will be greeted as such and you will receive your royal invitation to dine with the princesses (a little ticket with your parties information on it). You shuffle into line to meet Cinderella before heading upstairs to the dining room. Fun fact while your in line look around, up and down you should be able to find some of Cinderella's friends have joined her in the royal life, that's Gus Gus and Jaq you can spot.

After meeting her highness 

Cinderella you take the spiral stair case up to the dining room. CRT is a signature dining experience so it is pricey, very pricey if you are paying out of pocket you are looking at up to 75$ per person (price does depend on age and time) or if your on the DDP 2 sit down credits. So this location is usually followed by "Is it worth is?". I would argue yes. More for the atmosphere than anything else.

 CRT is a character dining experience during which you get to meet 5 princesses including Cinderella. If you were to wait in line to meet each of the princesses separately you could easily spend an entire day just due to wait time of 20-60mins per character. A part from that you are getting the chance to dine in a castle! 

Your meal also comes with your choice of a wand and wishing star or a sword, they do tend to show gender bias on this but don't feel weird asking for which ever you want it was noticable during the make a wish ceremony that some boys felt left out as they waved their swords around like wands because they had no wand. If your an adult don't let them forget you, you are also entitled to your souvenir the stars go great in a scrapbook! 

We chose to do CRT for breakfast the main perk of a breakfast dining reservation particularly at this location is that if your reservation is early enough you can get in at take pictures in front of the castle with little to no crowd! For us this didn't work out as planned however because it was during the ABC Christmas special filming.

So as vegans there really isn't an on the menu option at breakfast other than mickey waffles (totally fine by me though). Our waiter was very courteous he brought us soy milk for our coffee and for our meal we got mickey waffles, potatoes , salad, oatmeal (which was a bit to bland not a fan) and fresh fruit. The good was OK but I was more there to meet the princesses than anything else. 

For lunch and dinner there is an on the menu option of seasonal gnocchi with roasted vegetables eggplant, mushrooms, and squash tossed with gnocchi, arugula, brown butter sauce, and finished with shaved drunken goat cheese and leeks.  Also available with Rice instead of Gnocchi.  As a Vegan Offering without cheese and butter sauce. The lunch and dinner option does sound better but I may again do breakfast so we can do morning photos but if your a foodie I'd say lunch and dinner sound like a better bet.

The princesses are rightfully announced by a trumpet sound, it can be loud in the dining room so you may miss it but you wont miss the princesses themselves, as they enter one by one and begin their tour of the dining room. It can feel like you are being skipped because it is hard to tell what the order they are doing it but be patient your turn will come. Each princess stops at each table for photos and a quick interaction which is really lovely and it feels more natural than the regular meet and greets in my opinion. I will say I wish I had stayed calm and not worried so much about holding them up so I could have gotten better photos I really didn't love any of the photos I got here sadly, but that was totally my own fault.

I would definitely recommend that people make time to do Cinderella's Royal Table if you plan to meet the princesses during your trip it's a much more fun and authentic way to do it compared to waiting in line for a 30sec meet and greet repeatedly throughout your trip. It will save you a ton of time and is one of the most fun ways to meet the characters and get lost in the magic.