Since I have gotten engaged I have been all over wedding and bridal forums, facebook groups, websites for venues and, planning and vendors. I am a huge planner I generally think its fun and I think you get the most out of your time and money when you've done your research. I think I already mentioned this in my Disney blogs that I managed to do and see so many things in my first visit that many people don't manage even after multiple visits.
So of course I am over researching my all my wedding choices, most vendors probably hate I contact them way to early in advance to get a rough idea of pricing knowing I wont be deciding or booking until closer to next year.
In my defense if more places had prices ranges on their sites they wouldn't have to deal with brides like me.
I know prices can go up and generally, annually will, however I feel more prepared and productive having even rough idea.
So of the sites I have visited the #1 most helpful site has been weddingwire which offers both a .ca and .com versions.
Weddingwire has a large data base of vendors for every aspect of wedding planner, I still recommend using other sources as well because smaller or newer venues and/or vendors may not be registered. Where weddingwire is most helpful is with budget, guest list and seating plans. They have a budget calculator and tracker for saving estimates and payments etc.
The tools more than anything are what I love about weddingwire and why it is my #1 recommendation.
For forums I highly recommend weddingbee.com for community, venting and tips from other brides
and for other disnerd brides I recommend the facebook group Disbrides which supports both Disney brides getting married at Disney as well as regular at home brides who love Disney. Disney weddings are way out of my budget but I enjoy it for a fun and magical community.
I hope these site help you find tips and community which is definitely a need during the hair pulling moments of wedding planning.
Friday 10 March 2017
Sunday 5 March 2017
Creative ways to save DIY
DIY weddings are big right now, so are outdoor weddings I think this started as a way to save money but now that its trendy an outdoor and/or DIY wedding can easily end up the same as an all inclusive venue.
I've started comparing some outdoor and DIY options as a back up to the inclusive options.
One creative and promising lead I've found is renting an entire property off airbnb.
In the search settings of airbnb you can set it to 'event friendly' I still recommend messaging the host in regards to your 'family event' as sometimes homes show up under event friendly that aren't meant to be there.
Cost to keep in mind when doing DIY are:
Chair rentals which can ranged from 1$ per chair to 8$ per chair and if you want covers thats another .25-1$ each
Table rentals (both guests and food) anywhere from 6-10$ each
Tent rentals (incase of rain) depending on size anywhere from 500-2000$
Decor & Center pieces anywhere from 5$-30$ a table
Other things cost/ labor to consider:
Who will run your music if you rent sound equipmnet? or cost too book a dj?
Time for set/take down
Time and space for cooking assuming you DIY the meal, if you plan to hire a caterer what will that be per person compared to an all inclusive venue?
As I am sure you can see in addition to being more work, the costs can quickly and easily add up to the same if not more than an all inclusive venue. The extra work can feel rewarding, every single detail is a reflection of you and your work and nothing is cookie cutter which for many couples adds weight to the pros of a DIY.
It's also not to say it will work out the same or more than an all inclusive. If the venue is free (at home) or below 1000 via airbnb and you are making the food yourselves those two sections alone may save you enough to make up any other differences.
I personally am still unsure of which route I will take but am currently building drafts of plans for the 2 options between 4 different venues to compare which comes in lowest without cutting out everything I had wanted.
I've started comparing some outdoor and DIY options as a back up to the inclusive options.
One creative and promising lead I've found is renting an entire property off airbnb.
In the search settings of airbnb you can set it to 'event friendly' I still recommend messaging the host in regards to your 'family event' as sometimes homes show up under event friendly that aren't meant to be there.
Cost to keep in mind when doing DIY are:
Chair rentals which can ranged from 1$ per chair to 8$ per chair and if you want covers thats another .25-1$ each
Table rentals (both guests and food) anywhere from 6-10$ each
Tent rentals (incase of rain) depending on size anywhere from 500-2000$
Decor & Center pieces anywhere from 5$-30$ a table
Other things cost/ labor to consider:
Who will run your music if you rent sound equipmnet? or cost too book a dj?
Time for set/take down
Time and space for cooking assuming you DIY the meal, if you plan to hire a caterer what will that be per person compared to an all inclusive venue?
As I am sure you can see in addition to being more work, the costs can quickly and easily add up to the same if not more than an all inclusive venue. The extra work can feel rewarding, every single detail is a reflection of you and your work and nothing is cookie cutter which for many couples adds weight to the pros of a DIY.
It's also not to say it will work out the same or more than an all inclusive. If the venue is free (at home) or below 1000 via airbnb and you are making the food yourselves those two sections alone may save you enough to make up any other differences.
I personally am still unsure of which route I will take but am currently building drafts of plans for the 2 options between 4 different venues to compare which comes in lowest without cutting out everything I had wanted.
Wednesday 1 March 2017
Wedding planning
So my goodness, I did not appreciate the planning and money that goes into a wedding until I started really looking into planning mine.
I have changed my mind on where I want my wedding approximately 1000 times, I have changed my mind on the details for the ceremony 2000 times and the reception a few hundred.
I still have no idea what I want.
Originally I wanted a huge over the top fairytale ball! We set a modest budget of 10,000CAD.
Then after a trip to Cuba one day while day dreaming I started building other dream trips, I've caught the travel bug. As it turns out for 10K I could fly from Toronto to Shanghai, from Shanghai to Hong Kong and from Hong Kong to Tokyo, THEN back to Hong Kong and from there back to Toronto for about 6000CAD for both myself and my fiancé and that still left 4000CAD for park tickets and hotels.
So that changed my dream. I cannot justify spending a tour of Asia on 1 day.
This has lead me to some creative money saving ideas and I am still unsure of which I will end up doing but I will pass along my wisdom as it comes.
One of the first and best tips I got was from a co-worker she recommended I look into banquet halls owned and marketed towards South Asians. I googled 'Indian banquet halls' and a large list of halls that hadn't shown up on any of the numerous bridal sites or forums I had already exhausted, came up.
Most of these halls have similar pricing and wow. The average venue in the low range around me ranges from 70-100$ per person including bar, the newly discovered South Asian venues ranged 45-60$ per person including bar!
I was blown away. My fiancé and I love Indian food another bonus for us if that many Hindus are vegetarian and as a result these halls have a large vegetarian selection and most dishes can be made vegan.
For those who prefer traditional north American or European dishes these halls are still very accommodating and can also do menus fitting those needs.
If you have never been to or seen a South Asian wedding they are decadent affairs, the décor in my opinion is too die for. I love the regal and over the top décor and these centers being used to accommodating such extravagant events generally include quite a lot of lavish décor at little to no extra cost.
For anyone looking for an all inclusive venue that is affordable this is my number 1 recommendation.
Tuesday 28 February 2017
I am back!
I've taken a long gap from blogging reevaluating what if anything I wanted to do with thing.
There may (undecided) be a name change coming to give me a bit more freedom content wise.
Now that I am beginning to plan my princess wedding on a pauper's budget there will be plenty on wedding planning and saving while planning, in addition to recipes, reviews etc.
My intro blog for this wedding planning series will start tomorrow.
Sunday 17 April 2016
Communication
Communication is key to any healthy relationship, we hear this a lot and its true but learning how to have that open and healthy communication is not as often explained. In theory communication should be easy, open your mouth and speak, right? Well in reality I think we all know it is much more complicated than that.
Communication comes in layers, when in person there is body language, there is always subtext and wording can make a huge difference. For example one time while talking to my partner I was trying to communicate how great things were in that moment, how connected, refreshed and passionate I felt, but the wording I used particularly the word 'recommitted' gave the messaged that as some point I hadn't felt connected and committed and that overtook what I had been trying to say and instead of building my partner up, I had hurt him. These mishaps, happen and particularly if you've had fewer healthy relationship models to look up too communication and learning to do so in a healthy,open and honest way can be a bit of a journey unto itself.
Honesty: honesty isn't just telling the truth but telling the full truth and its important that why acknowledge that. Trust once broken is next to impossible to rebuild, that's not to say you can't rebuild if trust has been broken but it is a very long and painful up hill climb to do so. Sometimes honesty hurts and being on the receiving end of a painful truth is almost as hard as telling the painful truth but it's important to acknowledge and respect that your partner respects you by telling the truth and move forward with whatever the next step maybe in a mutual respect.
Openness : going hand in hand with honesty and not leaving out information just because you think your partner wont like it. It's also creating a safe atmosphere where you both know while your emotions can only be controlled so far and yes you may get upset you will talk through anything that needs to be handled and you both acknowledge and understand how important that safe place of openness is.
Don't text about serious topics. That should really be its own rule. A lot can be lost in communication via text , subtext, context details, tone all can be lost or misunderstood if you absolutely can not wait until you are face to face to discuss and issue then pick up the phone and call. It can feel easier to text you may even feel your better at articulating that way but the majority of the time for the reader that wont be true.
I statements are important in any area of conflict. Breath deep and take a moment to plan your wording, a minor issue can easily become a major issue if one party seems to be to defensive or to be deflecting both of which can be avoided by using I statements. For example "I feel unappreciated when you go straight to your laptop when you come home and think maybe we should have some unplugged time" vs "you go on online way too much and need make more time for me" both these statements are acknowledge the same issue, a common issue in our tech based world but one is clearly less confrontational and focused on building positively while the other is clearly formed out of hurt/anger and more likely to escalate the situation.
My final and biggest tip, is touch. If you know your about to discuss a big and serious issue sit down face each other and hold hands. If you cant hold hand (example if your signing to each other) sit cross legged so your knees touch. Keep contact helps keep the situation calm, and lest I sound like a hippie it keeps an energy flowing between the two of you.This can be hard especially if your having a disagreement but its both physical and symbolic to not break that connection even when your angry. I saw this tip in a movie of all places when I was about 12 and it stuck with me, I've always had it as an unwritten rule and swear by it.
All relationships are different and finding what works is a journey but this foundation will always be universal is open and honest communication , its a sign of love and respect and I hope these tools and tips help you build that safe place to grow together.
Honesty: honesty isn't just telling the truth but telling the full truth and its important that why acknowledge that. Trust once broken is next to impossible to rebuild, that's not to say you can't rebuild if trust has been broken but it is a very long and painful up hill climb to do so. Sometimes honesty hurts and being on the receiving end of a painful truth is almost as hard as telling the painful truth but it's important to acknowledge and respect that your partner respects you by telling the truth and move forward with whatever the next step maybe in a mutual respect.
Openness : going hand in hand with honesty and not leaving out information just because you think your partner wont like it. It's also creating a safe atmosphere where you both know while your emotions can only be controlled so far and yes you may get upset you will talk through anything that needs to be handled and you both acknowledge and understand how important that safe place of openness is.
Don't text about serious topics. That should really be its own rule. A lot can be lost in communication via text , subtext, context details, tone all can be lost or misunderstood if you absolutely can not wait until you are face to face to discuss and issue then pick up the phone and call. It can feel easier to text you may even feel your better at articulating that way but the majority of the time for the reader that wont be true.
I statements are important in any area of conflict. Breath deep and take a moment to plan your wording, a minor issue can easily become a major issue if one party seems to be to defensive or to be deflecting both of which can be avoided by using I statements. For example "I feel unappreciated when you go straight to your laptop when you come home and think maybe we should have some unplugged time" vs "you go on online way too much and need make more time for me" both these statements are acknowledge the same issue, a common issue in our tech based world but one is clearly less confrontational and focused on building positively while the other is clearly formed out of hurt/anger and more likely to escalate the situation.
My final and biggest tip, is touch. If you know your about to discuss a big and serious issue sit down face each other and hold hands. If you cant hold hand (example if your signing to each other) sit cross legged so your knees touch. Keep contact helps keep the situation calm, and lest I sound like a hippie it keeps an energy flowing between the two of you.This can be hard especially if your having a disagreement but its both physical and symbolic to not break that connection even when your angry. I saw this tip in a movie of all places when I was about 12 and it stuck with me, I've always had it as an unwritten rule and swear by it.
All relationships are different and finding what works is a journey but this foundation will always be universal is open and honest communication , its a sign of love and respect and I hope these tools and tips help you build that safe place to grow together.
Sunday 3 April 2016
Healthy Relationships and False Standards
I've decided to do a couple entries on loving, healthy relationships and this is my intro into the topic I hope you enjoy.
You hear a lot and see a lot about "relationships today" and whats wrong with them as if in the past relationships were better, I want to say that's a lie. A big bad lie that makes people hold their relationships to false standards. You will often hear low divorce rates of previous generations cited as 'proof' well let me, let you in on some little known/unacknowledged info on this. Firstly when going back in time we need to factor in the culture that creates the cultural norms of the time, a much heavier religious influence and more judgement on particularly women who left unhappy relationships, more prevalent unchecked work place sexism and discrimination stopping women from getting jobs to be able to leave. These two factors a lone are massive and powerful and kept low divorce rates but that does not mean all relationships were great,happy and successful.
Similarly the stat of 50% of marriages ending in divorce is actually outdated, it was true that as equality grew and stigma faded more and more of these marriages from "the good old days" ended but as newer generations who are waiting longer, living together first, and getting to know each other more are getting married the divorce rate has been steadily declining.
Another unhealthy standard is this concept of the 'failed relationship'. I love sexpert Dan Savage and his outlook on this topic to paraphrase the idea of a relationship ending being a failure is and of its self a flawed and problematic standard. Trying to hold on to something that's ended , like eating expired food can turn was was a lovely casserole into a toxic mess, and eating it will make you sick.
That is not to say that whenever things get hard you should give up and let go, all relationships will have ups and downs but in your heart or hearts 9 out of 10 times you do know deep down the difference between "we are having a hard time right now" and "this is over but I don't want to let go".
Life is a journey or better yet a book and like all great novels it has many chapters and characters, some will stay with you until the end and some only for a chapter and that is OK, they still have value, they still add to the story but they don't need to be the entire story.
Letting go of the pressure to have the perfect most successful never ending relationship will in and of its self take stress off of your relationships and help you heal if they end.
Don't make quick decisions with relationships always self reflect and sleep on major decisions, always keep open and honest communication without that it's already half dead but that's another entry.
The moral of this little blog is don't beat yourself up, don't hold yourself or your relationship to false standards or anyone else's standards what works for one couple may not for another most relationship issues are grey not black and white. Is an open relationship right for you? Is it right for your partner? Is a monogamous relationship right for you? Is it right for your partner?
There are many different types of relationships all unique and complex and only you and your partner together can decide what is right for you and what to try and not to try and where your boundaries lay on any given topic. Don't worry about failure, don't poison your precious time together just figure out whats right for your relationship, communicate and support each other for however long or short is right for you.
Similarly the stat of 50% of marriages ending in divorce is actually outdated, it was true that as equality grew and stigma faded more and more of these marriages from "the good old days" ended but as newer generations who are waiting longer, living together first, and getting to know each other more are getting married the divorce rate has been steadily declining.
Another unhealthy standard is this concept of the 'failed relationship'. I love sexpert Dan Savage and his outlook on this topic to paraphrase the idea of a relationship ending being a failure is and of its self a flawed and problematic standard. Trying to hold on to something that's ended , like eating expired food can turn was was a lovely casserole into a toxic mess, and eating it will make you sick.
That is not to say that whenever things get hard you should give up and let go, all relationships will have ups and downs but in your heart or hearts 9 out of 10 times you do know deep down the difference between "we are having a hard time right now" and "this is over but I don't want to let go".
Life is a journey or better yet a book and like all great novels it has many chapters and characters, some will stay with you until the end and some only for a chapter and that is OK, they still have value, they still add to the story but they don't need to be the entire story.
Letting go of the pressure to have the perfect most successful never ending relationship will in and of its self take stress off of your relationships and help you heal if they end.
Don't make quick decisions with relationships always self reflect and sleep on major decisions, always keep open and honest communication without that it's already half dead but that's another entry.
The moral of this little blog is don't beat yourself up, don't hold yourself or your relationship to false standards or anyone else's standards what works for one couple may not for another most relationship issues are grey not black and white. Is an open relationship right for you? Is it right for your partner? Is a monogamous relationship right for you? Is it right for your partner?
There are many different types of relationships all unique and complex and only you and your partner together can decide what is right for you and what to try and not to try and where your boundaries lay on any given topic. Don't worry about failure, don't poison your precious time together just figure out whats right for your relationship, communicate and support each other for however long or short is right for you.
Saturday 13 February 2016
Vegan Burger Helper
cook & prep time approx 20mins
Serving paired with side salad 3-4 served on it's own 2-3
Firstly I hate when a recipe blog has like a two page story of everything the cook did that day before they cooked to get to the recipe, so I wont do that.
For those who enjoyed hamburger helper in there pre vegan days I have a recipe for HEALTHY, cruelty free vegan burger helper. This came in an attempt to make a cheese sauce but tastes much more like hamburger helper so we are going with that!
What you will need :
Bring pot of water to a boil and add noodles while the water boils/ noodles cook splash a frying pan set to medium heat with olive oil , mix quarter Onion with ground round and fry. While the ground round and onion are frying mix remaining ingredients together in sauce pan and bring to a light boil. by the time your noodles and ground round are done the sauce should also be done.
Drain noodles and then mix sauce and ground round in together.
And you are done!
Easy ! I like to top mine with sriracha.
Serving paired with side salad 3-4 served on it's own 2-3
Firstly I hate when a recipe blog has like a two page story of everything the cook did that day before they cooked to get to the recipe, so I wont do that.
For those who enjoyed hamburger helper in there pre vegan days I have a recipe for HEALTHY, cruelty free vegan burger helper. This came in an attempt to make a cheese sauce but tastes much more like hamburger helper so we are going with that!
What you will need :
- 1 package of yves ground round (or any ground 'beef' alternative)
- package of noodles
- 1/4 onion diced
- 1 1/2 cups of unflavored non-dairy milk (cashew is creamiest)
- 2 tbsp non-dairy butter
- 1 tsp garlic powder
- 1 tsp onion powder
- splash of olive oil
- salt and pepper to taste
Bring pot of water to a boil and add noodles while the water boils/ noodles cook splash a frying pan set to medium heat with olive oil , mix quarter Onion with ground round and fry. While the ground round and onion are frying mix remaining ingredients together in sauce pan and bring to a light boil. by the time your noodles and ground round are done the sauce should also be done.
Drain noodles and then mix sauce and ground round in together.
And you are done!
Easy ! I like to top mine with sriracha.
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